College Jokes

Special thanks: Mick Torrans

 

Q. Why don’t they have Christmas at DCU?
A. They can’t find three wise men and a virgin.

 

Q. How can you tell if a Trinity student is heterosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!

 

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Carlow campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

 

Q. What’s the first thing a BESS bird does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

 

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?
A. With a restraining order.

 

Q. What does a UCD student call a Trinity student after graduation?
A. Boss

 

Q. What do you call an LIT student in a suit?
A. The defendant.

 

Q. What do you call a UL graduate in a suit?
A. The LIT student’s lawyer.

 

Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Carlow?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

 

Q. Did you hear that the library at DIT Kevin Street burned down?

A. Naturally, the students were very upset…some of the books weren’t even   coloured in yet.

 

Q. Why do UCD graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?

A. So they can park in the handicap spaces.

 

Okay, that’s enough snobbery for now – but more soon!